Unicorn Wrangling and Herding Cats: Crafting a Job Description to Bring the Wild and Wonderful Beings (aka Next Gen) to Your Organization
Ah, the elusive job description—the ultimate recruitment weapon. It has the power to attract the right candidates, make HR departments weep tears of joy, and strike fear into the hearts of job seekers everywhere. But let's be honest, folks, most job descriptions are as exciting as watching paint dry. So, why not inject a little humor into the mix? Humor transcends generational barriers – and the next generations appreciate a culture of high energy where everyone doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Let's embark on a journey into the art of crafting a job description that not only gets results but also leaves everyone with a big grin on their faces!
1. The Attention-Grabbing Intro – and What Can You do for Them?
Start off with a bang! Forget about the usual "Our prestigious company is seeking a highly motivated individual." Yawn. Instead, go for something like, "Attention all unicorns of the job market! We're on the hunt for a legendary human capable of tackling tasks with the grace of a ballerina and the ferocity of a lion." Who can resist such a captivating introduction?
Secondly, our next generation is looking for a company who will invest in them by providing a career path and the training to help them achieve their goals. They are multi-taskers. Maybe something along the lines of “College tuition drained your bank account? Are the ‘rents not willing to shell out for another year of Go Find Yourself University? Want to learn all about the 3rd biggest GDP our country has, and be a part of building something bigger? If you want to do all this, learn how to grow your career to the next level in a land of untamed possibilities, then hurry up and apply!”
2. The Buzzword Extravaganza:
Buzzwords —the language of Corporate America. But why stop at just one or two? Go wild and chose a handful of words that are unique to your company and make you stand out. "We're looking for a self-motivated, synergistic, out-of-the-box thinker who can leverage their core competencies while maintaining a growth mindset in a fast-paced, dynamic environment." See, now we're talking! Bonus points if you can create a buzzword bingo card to accompany the job posting.
3. The Mandatory Quirks:
Want to make your company stand out from the rest? Throw in some quirky requirements that have absolutely nothing to do with the job itself. "Must be able to do the chicken dance while simultaneously juggling three flaming torches." Why, you ask? Well, who doesn't want an office full of employees with hidden talents ready to entertain at any given moment? Think of the team-building possibilities!
4. The Perks of the Job:
Sure, everyone knows that free coffee and a ping-pong table are essential office perks. But why not take it up a notch? "Not only do we provide unlimited snacks and a pet-friendly work environment, but we also offer weekly bull riding lessons and a personal pogo stick."
5. The Unconventional Requirements:
Why stick to the traditional laundry list of qualifications when you can mix it up a bit? "Minimum 10 years of experience in unicorn wrangling or dragon taming." This opens the playing field, attracts diverse candidates, and who knows, you might just find the perfect candidate who has a side gig as a professional dragon slayer.
In our industry, drivers and yard associates are two of the most difficult positions to recruit for. With the shifting dynamics in the labor force, the labor market will remain tight. Let me show you an example of what I mean by a “different” job description. This one is over-the-top, and written tongue in cheek, but you’ll get the gist of it.
Job Title: Lumberyard Associate Extraordinaire – Master of Timber and Building Materials
Are you tired of working in dull, lifeless environments where the closest thing to excitement is watching paint dry? Do you yearn to bask in the glory of stacks of magnificent lumber and building materials and unleash your inner lumberjack superhero? Well, have we got the job for you!
At our whimsically wonderful lumberyard, we're seeking a lumberyard worker who can bring a touch of magic and mirth to the building materials industry. If you can swing an ax with finesse, crack dad jokes that would make even the toughest timber chuckle and have an uncanny ability to spot the perfect piece of wood for any project, then you might just be our lumberyard superhero in disguise.
Responsibilities:
Lumber Ninja Extraordinaire:
Execute precise cuts with the grace of a ballet dancer and the strength of a bearded lumberjack.
Keep the lumberyard organized because chaos is for cowards and confused termites.
Wood Whimsy Expert:
Engage customers with enchanting tales of each piece of wood's history, turning the mundane into magical.
Make customers believe that their new deck will become a portal to Narnia or their bookshelf will summon the literary spirits of Shakespeare.
Comedy Lumberjack:
Provide non-stop entertainment with an arsenal of lumber-themed jokes, puns, and wordplay. We're talking the creme de la creme of wood-based humor!
Leave customers and coworkers in stitches, doubling over with laughter until they exclaim, "You're knot kidding!"
Customer Whisperer:
Listen to customers' dreams and aspirations for their woodworking projects and provide expert advice with a sprinkle of charm and a dash of lumber lore.
Transform their visions into reality, and when they see the finished product, their jaws will drop like a felled tree in a Looney Tunes cartoon.
Requirements:
Lumberjack Swagger:
You must possess a beard capable of captivating even the most skeptical forest creatures.
Plaid shirts are a must. Bonus points for suspenders and a collection of flannel hats.
Jester Certification:
A well-honed comedic sense and the ability to make even the dourest piece of wood crack a smile.
Laughter is mandatory, and puns must flow like sap from a maple tree.
Wood Whisperer Diploma:
A deep understanding of various types of wood, their characteristics, and their hidden potential.
Familiarity with wood's secret language is preferred, as conversations between two pieces of timber can get quite intense.
If you're ready to embark on a magical journey filled with laughter, woodwork wonders, and a touch of whimsy, while creating the career of your dreams, then dust off your ax, put on your best plaid shirt, and apply now! Join our lumberyard family, where we turn the ordinary into extraordinary, one piece of wood at a time. Together, we'll build the most enchanting structures and create memories that will make the forest itself green with envy, while investing in you and building your career to the treetops!
Crafting a job description that gets results doesn't have to be a dull and monotonous task. By infusing it with a healthy dose of humor and creativity, you can attract the attention of top-notch candidates and make the entire recruitment process a lot more enjoyable for everyone involved. So, go forth, my fellow Lumberites, and create job descriptions that make candidates laugh, showcase your company’s amazing culture, and make candidates eagerly press the “Apply Now" button. After all, who said finding the perfect candidate couldn't be fun?
